Welcome to the fourth and final part of my pancreatitis series. Finally, I’m at home and healing. I know this part took quite a while to be released. It’s almost as if I didn’t know where to end it because the healing process has been anything but quick. Whenever I thought things would get better, some curveball would come at me. Some unforeseen complication would disrupt my healing process.
If you’re new to my blog, welcome, but you’re going to want to read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 of this series before continuing on with this post. (Also, note that this is not my normal blogging style. These posts are also significantly longer than my norm.)
Because a lot of the days at home healing was a lot of doing nothing, nodding out of high doses of pain medication, I am going to only elaborate days of importance.
October 23, 2018 (TUESDAY)
I woke up this morning at 281 lbs, and the realization of a 16-pound weight loss in two days was almost enough to keep me from feeling the constant pain. Even being at home for less than a day, I quickly realize how much harder home life is going to be.
I couldn’t get comfortable anywhere.
By now, I was coming off the Dilaudid really hard. I woke up drenched in sweat a couple times throughout the night. Today I was having on and off cold sweats, shaking, and restlessness; Though, all I wanted to do was rest. This is day three without it and I was feeling it. The good thing about it was I was still taking the prescribed Oxycodone which was helping the withdrawal. I was upset with the dose she prescribed, though, because it wasn’t what was discussed. It was much less than what she told me in the hospital.
Today was my mom’s birthday. We had a pretty funny fiasco with my Barnes and Nobel gift. We got it figured out with a few phone calls.
I also called to set up my first ride source from home to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that Walgreens wouldn’t fill last night at 8 pm. They said they would take me that day, and so I went to Hirons for the first time. I was excited to go here because they offered delivery. However, you had to drop certain prescriptions off in person. I had those certain ones so it no longer made it convenient to go here.
October 24, 2018 (WEDNESDAY)
I felt pretty exhausted and in pain. Everything was hard: Walking, sitting, standing up, going to the bathroom (I was also constipated), making food, showering, sleeping and I just could not get comfortable anywhere.
Today I was supposed to go to the food pantry with my friends, but things didn’t go as planned. We went to a couple places for groceries. After we stopped so I could get a plain baked potato from Wendy’s, we went back to their house where I found comfort in their squishy recliners. I was nodding out pretty much the whole time.
Strangely, I also got my prescribed Fentanyl patch delivered to my house today from Hirons.
I never thought I’d be saying that statement since I’ve lost so many friends from the Fentanyl crisis, but that’s for another blog.
October 25, 2018 (THURSDAY)
I was excited to go to my follow up doctor’s appointment because I got to tell her my pain level was still through the roof. My dose was increased and she left me saying she thought I was septic and that I needed to complete an at-home stool sample. Yes, it is as weird as it sounds, but doctor’s orders. (I never heard back from them about this, so I’m guessing I was okay.)
Honestly, I’ve been constipated since I went into the hospital 10/6 so I wasn’t worried about it at that moment.
October 26-28, 2018 (FRIDAY-SUNDAY)
I spent these days rotating between pain, relief, nodding out and waking up, repeating the cycle. There were 4 am phone calls with mom and sleepless nights. I finally was able to complete the stool sample with sucked but was also a relief. On Sunday, I woke up at 270.5 lbs.
October 29, 2018 (MONDAY)
Today was an exciting day. I was 267 pounds this morning which means I have gained and lost 46 pounds in 23 days. This was what I weighed that first time in the hospital before I gained all of the weight. That is INSANE! It is so crazy what your body is capable of.
Today was also my first meeting at the Behavior Health Center. I had a meeting with a psychiatrist. I was nervous, but I was looking forward to this day for some time now. Even before getting pancreatitis, I was applying for Trillium so I could see a psychiatrist; I wanted to be diagnosed. He put me on the schedule for therapy starting next week.
October 30, 2018 (TUESDAY)
Today I spent most of my time on the phone. I was calling nurses and trillium customer service and reaching out to the hospital at different numbers. I was trying to figure out what to do about my prescription. The discharge nurse was only allowed to prescribe me one full week of pain meds, but my next doctor’s appointment wasn’t until the 6th. I had two days left on them and was still in an unbelievable amount of pain.
It was still hard to walk and I was using a cane. I still cried when I went to the bathroom. It wasn’t an easy healing process, that’s for sure.
I had three people tell me to go to urgent care. I made one last phone call to Ride Source for a ride to urgent care Halloween morning. While I was on the phone with them, they asked me if I knew my schedule for November. They told me that I qualify for a free bus pass for November. I was initially excited for this information, but am now wishing I didn’t tell them my schedule.
October 31, 2018 (WEDNESDAY)
Happy Halloween everyone. I weighed in at 261 this morning. Today I went to Urgent Care which was a complete bust. Not even a minute in and they tell me they don’t prescribe pain meds there and I’d have to go to the ER. She then called me another Ride Source taxi.
Luckily, I was only at the ER for about an hour.
I was scared (I even cried in the Urgent Care office) because I thought I would end up here for hours. Then I would miss my dogs nail cutting appointment. I created this chaos in my mind when really it went very smoothly.
She told me I was smart to come there and that coming off of the narcotics cold turkey would have been really bad. I asked her to lower my dose and she put it to what I wanted it at. It was a quick meeting and they were calling me another Ride Source taxi home.
November 2, 2018 (FRIDAY)
My weight hasn’t gone in two days and I feel like I’m finally plateauing. I was finished with my Lasix prescription as well. I also haven’t pooped in a few days so maybe that had something to do with it.
Today was my first day taking the bus with my free bus pass provided by Ride Source and Trillium. A big thank you to the state of Oregon for providing this to people. However, my first experience was not the best.
It took 5 hours to go to Hirons to fill a prescription and to Fred Meyer to go grocery shopping by bus.
First rookie mistake: I didn’t bring my medications with me. By the end of it, I was crying in pain, and also having to walk blocks with heavy grocery bags in cold weather. It was homecoming weekend, and so there was a parade and a bunch of street events so all of the busses were running so behind. One of my busses had me waiting for 36 extra minutes. (A bus that normally runs every 30 minutes.) I dropped my raspberries and they exploded and weren’t salvageable. I also missed the bus at the end of the night. Instead of waiting for the next bus, outside for an hour, I decided to call a lyft home. The tears just falling in defeat.
I was not patient with my healing at all.
November 3-5, 2018 (SATURDAY-MONDAY)
After the bus adventure, I was pooped.
I rested my days away, well kind of. Still, after all this time, I was unable to really get comfortable. I had to have my pillows set up so I could sit/lay in almost a 90-degree angle. Madness took over because I wasn’t sleeping besides the sleep I would get after nodding out.
I was sore and uncomfortable, and everything hurt. Also, I couldn’t lay on my sides at all, so my ass was numb and my tailbone caused a new pain/annoyance.
I was also experiencing the worst constipation I’ve experienced yet. I have been dealing with constipation issues since going into the hospital. This was so beyond that. Without going into many gross details, I would be screaming and crying on the toilet for 20-45 minutes.
Luckily, my first appointment with my official PCP is tomorrow.
November 6, 2018 (TUESDAY)
Today marked a milestone in my weight loss journey. I weighed 259 pounds this morning. If anyone remembers, I started my weight loss journey at 319 pounds, so today marks 60 pounds lost! I know I’m not necessarily losing weight in a healthy way, but I will take anything positive at this time. Truthfully, I can’t deny the little smile I get with every pound gone.
I went to meet with my PCP by bus. It was a lot easier of a bus ride this go and didn’t take very long at all. The meeting wasn’t the greatest, and he made it seem like there could be some serious issues going on. I told him about my lower abdominal pains due to constipation and he then referred me to see a gastroenterologist. He said I absolutely needed an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, and needed new blood tests in the next 2 days. Yadda yadda.
This is when my conspiracy theorist brain pops in and remembers everything I’ve read about the health industry and I don’t know what to think at this point.
I feel like my lower abdominal pain os because I’m so backed up and this is because of the narcotics. This is partly my fault too because I stopped drinking the daily laxatives and now I’m paying for it.
November 7, 2018 (WEDNESDAY)
I had my first therapy session today.
Right off the bat, my therapist seems cool AF. She seems super real, close to my age and understands what I’m going through. We go through the tiny version of the DSM, going through a ton of different symptoms and issues I was having. I answered yes or no to a list to qualify for different disorders and illnesses, and she gives me a mini diagnosis on the spot.
I am eventually going to write a more in-depth blog about getting diagnosed.
November 8-12, 2018 (THURSDAY-MONDAY)
I spent the next few days applying for different positions online. By Sunday night I had landed 4 interviews. Two of them wouldn’t work out, but I had two interviews set up for the following week.
I also set up a surgery consultation for the 16th of this month.
I was feeling better, in a sense. Well, I didn’t have pancreas pain anymore or gallbladder issues. The only pain I would feel was in the lower abdominal if my number two’s got backed up if you know what I mean. Otherwise, I was walking fine, I was eating (even though I still can’t eat very much- Like 10 bites, still.), and I was riding the bus like a professional public transportation rider.
November 13, 2018 (TUESDAY)
I had my second session with Carly, and it went well. I look forward to the days that I get to see her. It is almost my only day of talking to a real human being since I’ve been out of the hospital. Otherwise, it’s just doctor’s appointments and those conversations only revolve around my health and nothing else.
November 14, 2018 (WEDNESDAY)
I told myself I was only going to start weighing myself on Wednesdays. This way I wouldn’t be obsessively checking it every single day. Today I weighed in at 249 pounds. I have officially lost 70 whole damn pounds.
It’s hard to believe the weight loss because I can’t see a 70-pound difference.
I am going to have to dig up some old pictures of before I left and put them side by side. I feel the difference more than anything. Weirdly, I feel bonier is some places and my shoes are bigger than they’ve ever been. Luckily, I have been writing down my measurements since September. I took them in the beginning and can’t find them.
The office of my PCP called to check on me today. I thought that was very nice. I told her that I was having issues with constipation still and she had the doctor prescribe me a stronger laxative than what I was taking.
November 15, 2018 (THURSDAY)
Today was a little bit of an adventure. I had to jump my car before going to Freddy’s because of a mistake I made a few days before. I drove during the day, in the fog, and forgot to turn my lights off when I got home. Luckily, my roommate and her partner knew how to use to the cables I have.
I was slightly freaking out because tomorrow was so busy and I wanted my car to transport me all around town. It all worked out, though, and I was able to drive to Freddy’s to pick up my new laxative prescription and go grocery shopping.
November 16, 2018 (FRIDAY)
Today’s busy schedule had my anxiety on high. I had a phone interview at 9:30 am and my surgery consultation at 11 am and then a second in-person interview at 3 pm.
The first interview went well. In fact, they called me back to hire me.
However, I found out my surgery is scheduled for the 10th of December. I am having my gallbladder removed officially. I kept hearing recovery time is really short, like a day or two, but the doctor told me another 2-4 weeks of recovery time. Per usual, I was an emotional mess after that.
I was debating whether or not to even go to the second interview. It was for a position in the office of a temp agency. I called them and told them my situation. They told me I should still come in. She said they would still have to fill the position for their office, but they were a temp agency. They could put me in the system and find me something maybe temporarily from the 1-10th of December until my surgery. That way I would be in the system for when I’m out and they could work on finding me a full-time position.
I went home that night and indulged in a piece of apple pie. Now, even though the pie is considered vegan, it is not considered “low fat” as I was prescribed by the doctor. Higher fat content in foods can set off the gallbladder and result in passing a stone.
Eating a giant, greasy meal from my favorite vegan diner is what happened originally that landed me in the ER with pancreatitis.
I thought one piece of pie wasn’t going to do anything. I had to eat a meal big enough for three people that was all deep fried. That night though, I ended up having a gallbladder attack. I had almost forgotten how badly it hurt; like you’re having a heart attack and you could die.
I had just taken my new laxative and magnesium oxide for the first time that night as well, and I tried blaming it on that at first. I knew deep down what had really set it off, but I wanted a better excuse. It says right on the bottle that it could cause stomach pain.
The good thing is that I have pain medication left over and within 20-30 minutes I was comfortably floating on my mattress.
November 17-18, 2018 (SATURDAY/SUNDAY)
After I had the same feeling Saturday evening, even though I didn’t eat anything with a high-fat content, I told myself that if I felt it again Sunday, that I would pack a bag and go to the Riverbend ER after my appointment with the prescriber. I felt it again Sunday. I was absolutely positive that I had developed pancreatitis again. That I would have to start everything all over.
That’s typical of me; Thinking the absolute worst scenario is going to happen.
November 19, 2018 (MONDAY)
I had a meeting with the prescriber this morning, who talked to me about different medications. I honestly left there even more scared of medications than when I went in there. He didn’t prescribe me anything because I told him I was off to the ER. He was nice and ordered me a taxi so I didn’t have to take the bus for an hour and fifteen minutes.
I was in the ER for a couple of hours.
They did a blood test and a sample of urine. I was given an ultrasound, which I was pleased to hear I had passed most of my stones and I only have one left in the gallbladder. They came back and said since the gallbladder looks fine and I didn’t have something blocking my bile duct, that I was going to be discharged.
I was shocked because I was almost certain I was developing pancreatitis again. From the feeling of the areas, I thought my fluid sacs were filling up again and everything.
I requested to get a CT scan. (Not only because I wanted to be absolutely certain, but also because the surgeon’s office requires me to get one before surgery so I figured it would be a great time to sneak one it without having to set another appointment.) The results came back fine, besides the fact that I did still have sacs of fluid. She told me to call my surgeon’s office, but I was still okay to go.
I felt kind of silly walking to the bus stop with my overnight back I packed for the hospital. Honestly, I was so prepared to have to be admitted and that the nightmare of my previous experience would play as Deja Vu in my present day.
I was still nervous. She said it was normal for the feelings of gallbladder pain to come back for a few days. She wrote me a new pain med prescription. I told her I didn’t want oxycodone. I now have tramadol. The tramadol worked after I took the second one. They take much longer to kick in though; Like 30-40 minutes instead of 15-20.
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After this date, I will continue to go to my weekly meetings with Carly as long as my insurance lets me. I have a Doctor’s appointment on the 6th, which will just be a checkup. On the tenth of December, I will get my gallbladder removed and then I will be back home healing from that. I will be applying places like crazy and trying to be patient with my healing.
Between now and then, I am going to be putting a lot of focus on my website and my blog. I have fine-tuned my tarot business and will be making it its own entity. It will include tarot readings, but also any art, jewelry or items I have for sale.
My new shop name is called, “Tarot And Sage.” You can find it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: TarotAndSage. Eventually, the Etsy will be updated as well.
It is so new so don’t expect much content as of yet, but this is what came from being home on the computer for the last month. I have been stuck for a while on how I wanted to incorporate my tarot business with MyBasicJourney. While tarot is part of my journey and will still include conversations on it, the business aspect and promoting, marketing and selling of products, will all happen under TarotAndSage.
Expect changes to the website as well as this completes its manifestation.
Thank you so much for being here. If you have read all of the installations of my Pancreatitis series, I appreciate you and your existence. You are beautiful and I love you so much! I know these were very different from my normal material, but I felt the need to share my experience.
I will eventually write a blog about my diagnosis, my weight loss, and give an update on my surgery. Otherwise, thanks for following along if you have. This has been one of the scariest moments regarding my health thus far. If you don’t include the time when I was 319 pounds. I’m so close to 80 pounds gone and on my way to 100. Follow my Instagram to get more regular updates: MyBasicJourney. <3
xoxo
