Two years ago I left everything and everyone I know to start a new adventure on my own in isolation.

At the time, I knew I was going to face a lot of time alone, but I also knew I needed it. I was six months sober when I left Illinois, and by this time, all of my “friends” were now “people I used to know” besides the couple that stayed.

That’s how you know who your true friends are.

When I left, I knew that I needed to do this on my own. I could have easily moved here and got into a crowd similar to the one I had at home. That’s all I’ve ever known. Just show up at a local bar and BAM! Instant friends. However, I didn’t want to go back to living the same lifestyle I moved 36 hours away from.

Of course, since moving here, I have met so many wonderful people, and a couple of those people I’ve gotten close to. Even though I’ve met a couple of people, I haven’t gone out and actively looked for friends. I really wanted to take the time to figure myself out, and figure out what it is I want to do with my life.

I’ve always kind of struggled with knowing my life’s purpose and I thought that once I sobered up it was going to come to me overnight. I thought it was going to be the answer to a lot of my problems. It has transformed my life in so many ways, and I wouldn’t be here on my own website that I built completely from the ground up, and writing a blog trying to help other people. I would probably still be in my mom’s basement, bartending four nights a week, and spending the rest of my time in a haze.

Sobriety hasn’t fixed all of my issues, but it has definitely woken me up to them.

Before getting sober, any issues I had were masked by getting high and drinking myself into oblivion. I didn’t deal with the depression that was limiting me from being what I was destined to be, and it hid any anxiety that was building up inside me for years. Honestly, I just skimmed through life, barely living, and not trying to better myself at all. I had given up on life and didn’t think getting better was a possibility.

It wasn’t until I changed my way of thinking, that I was able to change my life.

I manifested myself to where I am right now at this very second; I created this reality for myself. Even if I didn’t realize the law of attraction was working, using my thoughts and following through with action, I got myself up out of my mom’s basement, I got myself sober, I went vegan and I moved across the country. I manifested jobs and places to live. Everything has worked out, as everything will.

Even though all of these successes are happening, I still feel like I’m behind.

Sometimes, with the natural ebb and flow of life, we forget about these things. The last two years I’ve spent alone have been the hardest years of my life. I didn’t think that was possible coming from my background with drugs and alcohol. It was almost like I wasn’t prepared for real life, or how to deal with it.

Any mental illness or past trauma that I had been suppressing with drugs has now been very apparent and has been testing my wits. I am really trying to work on this. It has been the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with because of sobriety.

I have been struggling a lot with my personal identity.

For over 14 years I was constantly chasing the party. I was chasing social groups, and fake friends, so that I could feel like I belong somewhere. I was always the fat kid growing up that didn’t have a lot of friends. When I started drinking and using drugs, people started to “like” me. I got a lot more attention, yeah, but it took me over a decade to realize that wasn’t the kind of attention anyone wanted. For me, it was just nice that people started to notice me. I wasn’t invisible anymore, or the target of bullying.

Now that I have taken a step back, and looked at my past with clear eyes, I realize how much I let other people dictate or influence how I lived my life. I was constantly trying to please people, and in doing this, I was draining myself. This is what I believe to have caused me to have such an identity crisis. It’s like my foundation in unstable and I’m constantly being pulled in different directions of what is expected of me, and what my heart is pulling me towards.

This is why isolation is so important.

Being alone gives you the necessary time needed to figure yourself out, without anyone’s opinions to steer you in any direction in life besides your own. The more scared you are to be on your own, probably means that you need it the most. Yes, it is going to be hard, and at times it was the loneliest I’ve ever felt, but the amount of inner growth and self-discovery was well worth it.

I finally feel like I’m on the right path.

I may not know what it is I want to do, or what my soul’s purpose is, but I feel like I’m going in the right direction. I’m finally going towards what my heart desires and not worrying about what others expect or want of me. Finally, I feel like I am my own person. I feel stronger and happier, and I know now that I don’t need anyone else to make me feel complete.

When I was younger, I used to feel so dependent on people’s acceptance of me and felt immense disappointment in myself if they didn’t approve. I have learned to love myself and accept the things that I need to work on and challenge myself daily to be a better person than I was yesterday.

Unfortunately, I still have found it hard to make friends who have similar interests that I do and that’s one of the many reasons why I wanted to start My Basic Journey.

I wanted to create a community of like-minded people who are trying to better themselves. No matter where we are at in life, there is always room for improvement. My life has been dedicated to personal development and trying to learn everything I can, and sharing that knowledge with others. I want to be able to help people who have felt the same way I did: Stuck, scared, depressed, and worthless.

If I can turn my life around, then so can anyone! It might take dramatic changes, extreme action, endless courage and two years of isolation, but it can happen!! And it will! As long as you believe you can; That’s all it takes.

Thank you so much for being here. I love everyone who takes the time out of their day to read a little piece of my heart. It really does mean the world to me. I love you all!

If you have any questions, comment below or reach out to me via the Contact Page. If you would like a tarot reading, read the tarot section on the Services Page and then contact me! I’d love to talk to everyone. <3

Xoxo